I’ve been contemplating living on my own for a while now. I absolutely love the buzz of a house share, of someone being there when you get home, free for tea and a chat. There’s nothing like sneaky dvd nights and hungover afternoons with company. That being said, I need my own space. Badly. I am a total control freak, and while this is something I’ve been aware of for a while, it’s only lately that I’ve realised just how much of one I am (I told my brother this and he laughed and told me he could have told me this years ago). So yeah, I’m a control freak, I’ve just moved house and all my control freak dreams have been fulfilled by having my own space.
I’m not the crazy type of control freak who needs to have total control over every situation she comes into contact with, I’m the slightly less crazy type who needs to have control over herself, and everything in her environment. I acknowledge that I can’t control other people, but when something I should have had control over goes wrong? I get annoyed.
It’s little things: turning up at the wrong time for something, things not being where I left them, forgetting an appointment, having to change my plans because of outside factors, having them changed for me.
So I try to control things as best I can. I make lists. I plan. I stay organised.
But this post isn’t actually about the habits I’ve formed in an attempt to keep myself happy. It’s about moving.
I decided I was definitely going to live on my own about a month ago. I thought I would look long and hard before I found somewhere I really loved, but really I only looked seriously at three places. One, a newly refurbished apartment in South Belfast, I loved it, but was hesitant about moving out a month earlier than I’d planned, and by the time I made up my mind it had been taken. I was so annoyed at myself. It was brand new, and had that new paint smell, and had this lovely pale butter-cream yellow paint on the walls that doesn’t sound as good as it looked. But it actually gave the room the feel and colour of the misty early morning sunlight you get when you know it’s going to be an absolutely gorgeous day. The second flat was in the same building, also brand new and also taken, but it was a lot smaller so I wasn’t as annoyed at myself. And it was rocking a lavender grey paint vibe, which was lovely and understated and elegant, but it didn’t have the same happiness-in-a-colour effect of the first.
And the third. The one I’m sitting in now, having moved all my things in yesterday and spent most of this afternoon organising to my liking (which is why this post is going up so late, soz). It’s city centre, and so close to my work that I’m basically going to turn into one of those people who walks to work every day. It has the loveliest view of the river Lagan and it’s high enough up that I don’t get much noise from the street below (top floor). It has more space than I expected, and a lot more than I saw in some South Belfast apartments that cost the same. Solid wood flooring, comfortable sofas, an absolute dote of a landlord (he left me chocolate, a bottle of champagne and a welcome note in the fridge). It’s exactly what I wanted, exactly where I wanted it.
I got the time wrong for the original viewing and was so annoyed at myself I spent the rest of the day in a bad mood, convinced someone would apply for it before I got my second viewing (that’s the control freak side me). I was lucky and that didn’t happen, and I had an application filled out and ready to go the moment I left the viewing (that’s the crazy organised side of me). I was so surprised that I got it, and I’m still half expecting a phone call telling me there was a mistake and I have to be out by the end of the week.
I’m already planning a gallery wall, and thinking about soft furnishing and light shades and curtains. I have a million things bookmarked online that I want/need as soon as possible. I’m even finally looking into getting a huge oil painting my brother brought me back from Cambodia about five years ago framed because I finally have somewhere I want to hang it. It’s a bit scary, but I can see myself staying here for the next few years while I start my career path, save for the million and one weddings I have coming up and consider scary things like saving a deposit for a house.
Originally this was just meant to be a bit of gushing a wish list of adorable homeware items I want. But it’s turned into a bit of a ramble, and I want to stick to my Sunday post schedule so I guess I’ll leave you with this (expect more gushing and a wish list or ten soon though).